Just Tell Me What I Need to Know

An Excerpt from Chapter 1 of Building Connections: Practical Ways that Financial Professionals Can Build Relationships and Communicate with Clients

I don’t think I ever realized how different accounting language is from English until I attended my first board meeting as a Chief Financial Officer. I stayed up the night before, getting ready to present financial results for our new company. I was considered a young CFO—especially in the property and casualty insurance industry. I was definitely the youngest that our European parent company had ever hired across their brands all over the world. While the vote of confidence was nice, I was bound and determined to show them that I knew my stuff. I spent most of the evening running through what I wanted to say about profitability ratios, website funnel metrics, and the overall market outlook. Little did I know that this would be my downfall.

When my time to talk at the meeting came, I wasted little time jumping into my rehearsed speech on GAAP and tax reporting, MACRS, and IFRS. Suddenly, about three minutes into my accounting keynote address, I heard a voice at the head of the table bellow, “Stop!” I shook myself out of my thoughts and noticed the room. My eyes were met with frowns, looks of indifference, and crinkled eyebrows. To my horror, the voice in the back was the CEO of the entire company. He studied me for a minute and said calmly, “Dave, I don’t care about any of this. Just tell me what I need to know.” I blurted out the three key points to my speech in rapid succession. My five minutes had been cut to about 30 seconds. “Thank you. Next time, that’s what I want,” he said in an even tone. “Yes, sir,” I stammered. What else could I say?

To my relief, I was not fired. The next board meeting went better, and the one after that went even better than that. However, I will always remember that first one for the lessons it taught me about communication. First, we use buzzwords, corporate speak, and industry acronyms all the time without noticing it. Instead of helping improve communication, they often get in the way of it. Second, communication really has very little to do with the talker. It is all about the receiver of the information. This goes beyond merely “reading the room.” Reading the room is about making sure that you say things that are appropriate to the circumstances. You don’t just want people to hear appropriate things. You want to go a step beyond that. Communication is about helping people to understand, which is much harder.

Crinkled Eyebrows and Deer in Headlights
If you’ve seen the look, you know it. The look when someone has no idea what you just said is unmistakable. They may tell you they heard every word, but the way they half-heartedly say “uh-huh” when you ask them if they understood leaves you knowing the truth. They missed it. While you want to be polite and take them at their word, the truth is that this is your cue to back up and try again.

True communication is less about the words you say. It is more about connecting with someone well enough to know when there is a problem (even if they don’t say it). It is about knowing what they are thinking. It is all about the other person. We often find ourselves miscommunicating when we forget this. We focus too much on using the right words or explaining the concept and less on the actual person who is trying to hear the message. When you talk with clients about financial matters, be keenly aware not only of what you say, but how they hear it. We form a connection with people when we communicate with them. If you are sensing that they are not following something, you need to be smart enough to see that and patient enough to try again.

When you try again, you can’t say the same thing. You need to bring your speech to a more appropriate level. You do this by saying the same thing again in a different way—and then checking understanding.

Are you still getting crinkled eyebrows and the deer in headlights look? If so, then do it again.

True communication is about adjusting on the fly and being able to say things in different ways until one of them connects.

It is an iterative process. This does not mean that you can never use a buzzword. It means that when you do use one, you need to make sure the other person is still with you in the conversation. Again, good communication is about the other person—not about you.

In many books about communication, authors focus on ridding the reader’s speech of crutch words. The premise is that if we get rid of crutch words, like “uh” and “um,” our message will become clearer. These books focus on things we can do instead of using crutch words, like taking a breath before you talk or simply talking more slowly. However, the truth is that crutch words are only problematic when they distract the other person’s listening. If you have ever seen two long-time friends talking, you know this is true. Friends may routinely use crutch words. They say things like, “you know what I mean?” or “you know what I am saying?” all the time. These are certainly crutch phrases, but they don’t interfere with communication—and that’s the difference.

When you communicate with clients or colleagues, it is not about talking smoothly. It is about checking for understanding. If you use a buzzword, be sensitive to their reaction. If they didn’t catch it, try again in a different way.

The One-Half Rule
A mentor of mine used to tell me that he would gauge a successful client meeting based on how much he talked. If the client talked more than he did, then it was a good meeting. If he talked more than the client did, it was not. There is a lot of wisdom in this. When the client talks more than you do, the focus is in the right spot—what the client is hearing and understanding. When you are talking more than the client is, the focus is more on your words.

While this may feel counter to what we just said about communication, it really is saying the same thing. If you are listening more, you are connecting with the client by necessity. You are checking your own understanding. You are actively engaging with the client in a way that is sensitive to their needs and less about your own.

In my previous career, I worked as a hospital chaplain. I visited patients and their families that were feeling a range of emotions from boredom to anxiety and relief to fear. One of the things that amazed me was how much a person would tell you if you simply listened long enough. I learned about family issues, desires and dreams, and even what people felt about God and mortality. You connect with people better if you are willing to share the conversation space with them. Listening more shares the conversation space and builds connections. I found myself better able to empathize with patients when I listened more. I could adjust my speech to what was appropriate for their situation, their level of communication, and their emotions in the circumstance.

In financial services, listening does the same thing. If you listen more, you can hear how the client talks about the issue. You can hear where their anxiety is coming from. You can understand their needs more and connect with them better.

Required Disclosure: This is not specific investment advice. Financial and Investment Advisory services offered through CFO Capital Management. Brokerage and Custodial Services offered through TD Ameritrade Institutional, member FINRA and SIPC. CFO-CM and
TDA are not affiliated. Tax services are provided by Peters Tax Preparation & Consulting, PC and are not provided by CFO Capital Management.