Author: David R. Peters, CPA, CFP, CLU, CPCU
This article originally appeared in the Winter 2025 issue of the South Carolina CPA Report
Part of what gets in the way of connecting with clients is the language and words we use. We need to establish credibility. I believe this is the part that many of us get wrong. In many cases, our schooling and career experience teach us that we need to be efficient. This means being streamlined, transactional, and getting rid of unnecessary small talk. While this leads to success in many aspects of business, it does not build connections with clients. It helps us get tasks done, but it doesn’t build credibility.
If you are questioning the logic in this, think about your own life. You naturally listen to people you already have a connection with—family, neighbors, and even celebrities you see on TV. These people may or may not be experts in the area in which they are giving you advice. You may not have even realized it, but they have built up credibility in the past. Even if this is something entirely different from how they have interacted with you before, you tend to give more weight to those with whom you have had good experiences.
For this reason, financial services professionals need to focus on building up one good interaction after another. This is how we naturally establish credibility. As my colleague rightly said, the goal of the first meeting is to get to a second meeting. If you have enough positive interaction in the first meeting, then the client will want to have a second meeting. If you don’t, then you won’t. After all, if you have a negative experience, why would you do it again? The financial services industry is filled with knowledgeable and capable people. If they have a negative experience with you, they will either move on to someone else or decide they don’t need anyone’s services for now.
Notice that we are talking about building upon a series of positive interactions to establish credibility—not showing off your financial expertise. This is not to say you can’t talk about your qualifications or whatyou might be able to offer. However, this shouldn’t dominate the conversation. In the first meeting especially, the focus should be on the client’s problem and how you can fill a need. The focus should be on them—not on you or your skillset. This is where I went wrong during my first client meeting as a financial planner.
Shut Up, Listen, and Remember What They Said
Real listening, though, is incredibly difficult. It takes active participation in the conversation. It takes the ability to ask clarifying questions. Most of all, you must actually care about what the other person has to say. There is no way to fake it. People see through that. You must be interested in what people are telling you and resolve to make sure you understand. True listening takes effort.
Have you ever had someone forget something about an important conversation you had? I remember applying for a bank loan one time and having multiple conversations with my loan officer. She learned about me, my business situation, and my family, but after several conversations, she continued to call me by the wrong name. I corrected her the first few times; however, after she called me by the wrong name for the fourth time, I gave up. The message was clear—I didn’t matter. It was all an act to win my business. I was just a checkbox on her to-do list for the day.
Remembering the small stuff matters. If you have trouble remembering, take notes (or have someone take them for you). I have always taken people with me into conversations to help remember everything. I also normally pull together with the team after a meeting so that we can run through everything we discussed. This is more than just comparing checklists. It’s about making sure you recall the details.
You need to remember things about them as well. You need to remember they bought a puppy, they don’t like the New York Yankees, and their daughter made the varsity swim team as a junior. These details may seem trivial, but they show that you listened and cared enough to invest in the conversation.
I have had a few professionals share with me their “system” for remembering things. An insurance agent I talked to years ago told me he kept an index card for each client, writing down the names of their family members. He would jot brief descriptions down at the bottom, like “Bobby – Son – Junior at Greenville High School.” He would then pull the card for each client while still in his office and look it over—right before going into the meeting room. “It’s been a godsend, Dave. It helps me remember everyone, so I know exactly what you’re talking about!” he exclaimed with a big smile. He was so proud of his system that I didn’t have the heart to break it to him. He had completely and totally missed the point.
Showing that you listened to the client is more than just remembering pithy and hollow details about them. It is more than just memorizing an index card or any other salesperson trick. It is about caring enough to remember. Think about it. When you really care about what someone has to say, you remember the last conversation you had with them. You remember the main points you discussed seemingly without effort. The reason is that you valued the person and the conversation you had. If you care, you remember.
The reason these tricks are garbage is because they lead to shallow conversations that sound memorized and rehearsed. People can tell when you genuinely remember something about them and when you are using a sales tactic. They may not consciously realize that the hollowness of the conversation stems from the fact that you just memorized a notecard about them. They may not realize that’s the reason the conversation seems fake and insincere. They just know that something doesn’t feel right about the conversation. You have to care. When you don’t, it shows—and you don’t get a second meeting.